So, your husband asked you to strip for him, and after his incessant begging, you’ve reluctantly agreed. Or perhaps you’ve got a special night coming up, and you want to give him a surprise. Or maybe a girlfriend suggested it, and you’re only entertaining the notion. One way or another, you want to know how (and if) you can pull this off. Literally.
Well, as a guy who pressured his own wife into it and found it was even better than he’d imagined, I wanted to offer some suggestions from the audience’s perspective. Maybe you can find some value in these recommendations, in spite of (or maybe because of) their male origin. I’m going to break this up over three posts, so stay tuned for recommendations on the practical side and for what to wear. Starting out, though, I want to tackle some of the deeper issues. The soul issues.
Know His Desire
You need to ask yourself a question. Why would your husband want to see your strip if not to see your body?
Right off the bat, the female’s perpetual self-consciousness asserts itself, saying, “I’m not sexy enough.” You might bring to mind the strippers you’ve seen in movies or on television, or perhaps even some you’ve seen in person. You think, I don’t look that good. I can’t do that.
Well, stop it. I know, that’s easier said than done, but you have to remember that he desires to see your body because he enjoys looking at your body. He wants you. You don’t have to understand how he likes your body any more than you need to understand how a car’s engine works (if you’re like me, at least). Just get in the driver’s seat and drive with confidence.
Because that’s the sexiest part of you that you can show in any striptease: confidence.
Know Your Role
Second, keeping in mind that he desires your body, know who you are.
You’re not some unfortunate soul employed by some sleazy establishment putting on a lame excuse for a burlesque show for dozens of anonymous leers in order to pay for night classes, put food on the table, or feed an addiction. You’re his wife, and he’s your husband.
Remind yourself that what you’re doing is a healthy sexual experience in a holy context. This is on the up-and-up. You’re not a stripper working the crowd. You’re a wife seducing your husband. Don’t let any voices in your head tell you different.
Know Your Sculptor
Third and perhaps most importantly, keep in mind that God already did the hard part. You’re His masterpiece according to Ephesians 2:10, and the job of sculpting your beauty was done by the Author of Creation.
Your job isn’t to conjure or invent some beauty; your job is to showcase the beauty God created specifically for your husband’s delight. Take confidence in His work.
Some of you might have the same response to that verse that my wife often has: “Sure, God made me well, but I haven’t taken as good of care of myself as I could have. I’m not His masterpiece anymore.” Well, first of all, that’s arguably one of the most unintentionally arrogant things I have ever heard — are you somehow so mighty that your failures outdo God’s victories? Second, the verse doesn’t say you were once (past tense) His workmanship, His masterpiece; it says you are (present tense).
So, listen. Get this through your thick skull: if you’re a woman, you’re beautiful. You’re a daughter of Eve, the grand finale of creation. Any voice you hear that’s telling you otherwise is a lie from the pit of hell.
Sorry for going so heavy there. That’s just a passionate point for me. I hate seeing the enemy abuse women with that lie.
Know the Expectations
On to lighter topics… Keep in mind you don’t have to get everything right the first time. Don’t put pressure on yourself to do a perfect performance. Even the professionals make mistakes, and so will you. That’s okay.
The audience (your husband) probably won’t notice, but even if he does, you can bet he won’t complain about you giving it another shot down the road. And another. And another. In fact, if he’s smart, he’ll start inventing things you did wrong so you’ll have to keep trying.
The point is, he’ll happily be a repeat customer, so don’t think you’ve got only one shot to get this perfect.
Know the Moves
It’s not necessary for you to have all the moves. Trust me, an unchoreographed bit of hip rolling and body swaying can go a long, long way. But if it would help your confidence level (which, remember, is the all-important component), feel free to learn some moves.
There are how-to videos on YouTube to glean from, there’s Carmen Electra’s aerobic routines, and there are even amateur lessons available at many professional establishments (a fun girls outing, I understand). That’s to say nothing of the vast mountain of webcam striptease videos available on the net.
Learn what you can, practice some go-to moves, and get comfortable with the motions. It might just make you feel more comfortable when the music starts for real.
Know a Workaround
If you can’t build up the confidence in your own sex appeal, then you might try acting. Seriously. Pretend your body is better than you think it is. Frankly, it probably is.
You are your own worst critic, I guarantee, and in a healthy marriage, your husband will think far more of your body than you do. So if you imagine your body is better, you’re probably seeing it a little more like how he does. Pretend you’ve got that stripper’s ideal body and lose yourself in that role. If you can’t drum up confidence in God’s works in you this first time, you might find some luck faking it.
This last one is crucial, but it’s more of a component of not psyching yourself out mid-routine than psyching yourself up to do it in the first place.
Suppose you’re performing for an also-stripped husband. Maybe you think you’ll get some confidence boost when you see him physically respond to your ministrations. And once you get a rise out of him, you do get to feeling better. Maybe you can do this. But then he goes down. And your fragile new confidence is shattered.
Don’t take it as a slight on you or your routine if your husband gets an erection and then loses it. Don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself or him.
Without medication or physical stimulation, erections don’t last very long for most men, even in the face of substantial mental or visual stimuli. Every guy knows it, but nearly every guy is ashamed to admit it because he assumes it’s a slight on his masculine strength just as you’d perceive it as a slight on your feminine beauty. We’d all like to imagine all our erections are rock hard until we give them permission to settle down, but that’s just not how they work. It might be TMI, but it’s not how they work with pornography either, and that’s done by the professionals.
Don’t fall into this trap. Know the striptease for what it is: gratifying the most sexual organ in the man’s body — his brain.
These are all mental issues, and they’re necessary to tackle. Perhaps as a guy, I’ve got little to offer you in the way of addressing these soul issues. But maybe I’ll be better at the practical side of the Christian strip tease.
So, let’s say you’re reasonably confident you can become reasonably confident. What about the logistics? Well, stay tuned for Part Two.
Originally posted 2015-03-20 08:00:43.