A Fog Sex Fantasy
There's one aspect of this time of year that I fully appreciate: fog. In particular, I want to enjoy my wife while I enjoy the fog. [...]
Archive
No More Headaches
I was reading in an old magazine and stumbled across an interesting tidbit. A survey and found something that gives me some hope. A majority of migraine sufferers reported [...]
Bathroom Privacy
I’ve talked about the subject of having boundaries properly set before, and I’ve even explained my method for determining boundaries. If you’ve read many of [...]
Swinger Free Hot Tubs
I’m annoyed. When I told my wife I wanted a hot tub, she flinched a little. Hot tubs do, after all, hold a certain reputation. I’m not annoyed my wife immediately [...]
On the Shoulders
I believe this is one of the greatest times to be alive in the church. Yes, persecution exists in different forms in different places. Yes, there is a great resistance in [...]
My Favorite Trophy [Wife]
I love being seen in public with my wife. Walking around with this sexy woman on my arm, I know people are looking and asking themselves, “How did he land her? [...]
Beautiful Bacon
I'm so thankful for the freedom to eat bacon that comes with this Christianity thing. I won't say that it was the deciding factor when choosing between the big three monotheistic religions, but it certainly didn't hurt the case. [...]
Mother Nature Hates Me
Basically, that. Yeah… I wish there was a way to explain the feeling to somebody that doesn’t deal with it. The best I’ve come up with is that everything on [...]
A New Year, a New Season
The past few months have seen a lot of shifts in the Osgood home. Some good, some bad. It’s caused me to reflect a bit more than normal, and reprioritize some things in [...]
Video Games
There was a time not too long ago when parents first bought video game systems for their families as a whole. Boxes and marketing materials portrayed smiling families [...]
A Daring Truth – the False Start of our First Mobile App
Here at theUMB, we strive for transparency. Sometimes, that takes the form of letting our readers catch a glimpse of our experiences or relaying some facet of our deeply [...]
Pajamas with Feet
When my son was still little, he wore these big, all-covering affairs. It was one huge piece that had long sleeves, long pants, and feet. Yes, pajamas with the feet. I was imagining something similar in my wife's size, with some minor tweaks. [...]
The Sacred Toothbrush
The toothbrush is often iconic in the secular world's relationships: when a boyfriend or girlfriend begins leaving a toothbrush at their partner's place, it indicates a new step in the relationship. A new level of intimacy. My wife and I had something similar, actually, though it wasn't a precursor to us moving in together. [...]
Strong Emotion on Lotion
Most of my life, I have stood firmly — even violently — against lotion. Not on lotion as an idea: "I don't believe in lotion." But rather, I resisted any opportunity for it to make contact with my person. This applied to moisturizer, sunscreen, and even oils or other topical applications that left a residual texture, fragrance, or generally clammy feeling. [...]
A Song about Gnomes
It's been at least a couple years since I last thought of the underpants gnomes who sang this song, and it's easily been several years since I saw the episode. Yet this morning, it popped back into the limelight. [...]
Game Day Jersey
That loving, supportive wife of mine gets in the spirit, wearing a Packers jersey and — assuming the house isn't full of strangers — little else. It's a fun thing to look forward to, even if we miss the game itself. [...]
Waterguns
Nowadays, water guns come in all shapes and sizes, from the cheap handheld ordeals that empty in minutes and break after a couple refills to the heavy duty Super Soakers with sights and incredible ranges. Well, this row of lusty boxes contained something like a Super Soaker on steroids. [...]
Belly Dancing and OCD
I have a thing for bellies, and I make no secret of that. Maybe it's not a full-grown fetish, but it's notably influential. It may come as a surprise, then, that the art of traditional belly dancing doesn't "do it" for me. [...]