Archive
His eyes went wide as I inhaled, pulled him in, and planted kisses and ridiculous growling noises on his cheeks and face. I sounded like the Cookie Monster devouring a triple layer chocolate chip cookie cake. A joyfully squealing cookie cake wearing a diaper.
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Sunday, March 3, 2024 by Phil
The date is set. The playlist is queued up. You’re psyched up, and you’ve got your game face on. However, that’s all you’ve got on, as you stare into
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Thursday, February 29, 2024 by Phil
Whether full of sharp angles, supple curves, or some combination of the two, the woman's body is the literal personification of beauty. Why wouldn't men be drawn to such a wonder? What doesn't make sense to me is the appeal of the male body. We're all awkward shapes, hairy parts, and dangling members.
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Monday, February 26, 2024 by Phil
The tangle of limbs, the heat of skin on skin, it's great. And so it remained until my wife peed on a stick one day. Now, my most comfortable state was in question. I knew what newlyweds did. We were good at that. But I didn't know what parents did. So, I dug deeper.
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Friday, February 23, 2024 by Phil
Aside from Jesus, do we see the New Testament authors and influencers participating in or instructing us to preach hell?
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Tuesday, February 20, 2024 by Phil
I'm so thankful for the freedom to eat bacon that comes with this Christianity thing. I won't say that it was the deciding factor when choosing between the big three monotheistic religions, but it certainly didn't hurt the case.
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Wednesday, February 14, 2018 by Phil
Basically, that. Yeah… I wish there was a way to explain the feeling to somebody that doesn’t deal with it. The best I’ve come up with is that everything on
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Monday, April 10, 2017 by Clara
The past few months have seen a lot of shifts in the Osgood home. Some good, some bad. It’s caused me to reflect a bit more than normal, and reprioritize some things in
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Friday, December 30, 2016 by Phil
There was a time not too long ago when parents first bought video game systems for their families as a whole. Boxes and marketing materials portrayed smiling families
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Friday, March 25, 2016 by Phil
Here at theUMB, we strive for transparency. Sometimes, that takes the form of letting our readers catch a glimpse of our experiences or relaying some facet of our deeply
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Wednesday, February 17, 2016 by Phil
To me, cartoons are not inherently childish. Many are geared for an adult to enjoy, too. Then, there's cartoons explicitly made _for_ adults.
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Monday, January 25, 2016 by Phil
When my son was still little, he wore these big, all-covering affairs. It was one huge piece that had long sleeves, long pants, and feet. Yes, pajamas with the feet. I was imagining something similar in my wife's size, with some minor tweaks.
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Monday, December 28, 2015 by Phil
The toothbrush is often iconic in the secular world's relationships: when a boyfriend or girlfriend begins leaving a toothbrush at their partner's place, it indicates a new step in the relationship. A new level of intimacy. My wife and I had something similar, actually, though it wasn't a precursor to us moving in together.
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Monday, December 21, 2015 by Phil
Most of my life, I have stood firmly — even violently — against lotion. Not on lotion as an idea: "I don't believe in lotion." But rather, I resisted any opportunity for it to make contact with my person. This applied to moisturizer, sunscreen, and even oils or other topical applications that left a residual texture, fragrance, or generally clammy feeling.
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Friday, November 13, 2015 by Phil
My best friend and I check our ammunition, making sure the barrels are spinning smoothly. Despite carrying seven foam darts each, our guns are small — easy enough to
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Friday, October 30, 2015 by Phil
It's been at least a couple years since I last thought of the underpants gnomes who sang this song, and it's easily been several years since I saw the episode. Yet this morning, it popped back into the limelight.
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Monday, September 14, 2015 by Phil
That loving, supportive wife of mine gets in the spirit, wearing a Packers jersey and — assuming the house isn't full of strangers — little else. It's a fun thing to look forward to, even if we miss the game itself.
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Friday, September 4, 2015 by Phil
Nowadays, water guns come in all shapes and sizes, from the cheap handheld ordeals that empty in minutes and break after a couple refills to the heavy duty Super Soakers with sights and incredible ranges. Well, this row of lusty boxes contained something like a Super Soaker on steroids.
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Friday, July 24, 2015 by Phil
I have a thing for bellies, and I make no secret of that. Maybe it's not a full-grown fetish, but it's notably influential. It may come as a surprise, then, that the art of traditional belly dancing doesn't "do it" for me.
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Monday, March 30, 2015 by Phil
Many Christians tend to really not like the idea of tackling sexual issues frankly. But let no one say this website lacks something for everyone. Here's a handful of videos everyone can agree on. Who doesn't like cute little dwarf bunnies?
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Friday, March 13, 2015 by Phil
