Many discussions have played out before me on the topic of homeschooling one’s children. The answer seems to be different for every parent. Part of it depends on the quality of the would-be educators available at home. Personally, if my kids were limited to my skills in math, they’d never get past sixth or seventh grade. Meanwhile, my wife is brilliant at math, so she could be quite the competent educator in that subject. Still, we have opted not to homeschool our children, and for a variety of reasons beyond the scope of this post. However, in cases like ours where our kids attend public school, there is one class offered at their school that we’d better make sure we teach at home first: sex ed.
On Secular Sex Education
To be clear, I have absolutely no problem with schools teaching children about sex. Frankly, I believe the only reason they’ve had to do so is because the class wasn’t being offered at home. Ironically, it’s the same Victorian attitude of avoidance that prompts evangelical parents to self-righteous indignation that also prompts them to not broach the subject with their kids themselves. The attitude is reminiscent of an ostrich with its head in the sand or a debtor who won’t answer the phone; it’s an irrational assumption that the problem will just go away.
And guess what? It doesn’t; it only gets worse. Interest accumulates, and before long our kids are being informed neither by godly parents nor by an arguably biased educational system but instead the gap is filled by ignorant peers and manipulative media. Personally, I’m glad educators are at least attempting to handle the uncomfortable topic, as too many parents aren’t doing it. But I see that as a last line of defense. There should be a godly voice before this point.
In his book America’s Only Hope, Dr. Tony Evans writes, “The church often expresses vehement dissatisfaction with secular society’s sex education in which condoms replace morality. Yet in the church we barely talk about sex at all. It is important that we rise above our unbiblical sexual attitudes and teach our children about the nature, goal, purpose, and restrictions of sexual behavior.” Well put, Dr. Evans.
I’m not suggesting, though, that Sunday school classes begin ordering bananas and condoms and ordering curriculum that teaches vocabulary words and explaining the biological consequences of sexual contact. I don’t necessarily see the harm in a prayerful approach in the church, but this too is merely kicking the can further down the road.
The parents aren’t teaching so the media teaches. Parents don’t want the media teaching, so the school teaches. Parents don’t want the school teaching, so the church teaches. What’s next? Are we going to get offended that the church openly talks about sex, and then demand a new teacher? Is there an app for that? Maybe that’s a job for Google X.
No! This is a parental problem! Proverbs 22:6 says that if we “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it” (NASB). Speaking of God’s words, Moses instructs the Israelites to “teach and impress them diligently upon the [minds and] hearts of your children” (Deuteronomy 6:7b, AMP). A couple chapters before, he reminded them of their duty to teach their children (and grandchildren) God’s works (Deuteronomy 4:9). Education is a parental responsibility.
God has a plan for our children that includes them becoming sexually healthy adults, and it is primarily our responsibility as their parents to equip them for all aspects of God’s plan. That doesn’t happen by pretending our kids aren’t sexual creatures, that we as their parents aren’t sexual creatures, that the world is devoid of sexual creatures, that sexual creatures are as imaginary as unicorns and fairies. We cannot — and biblically speaking, should not — shelter our kids from sexual awareness completely.
I’m not suggesting we give detailed seminars to five year olds. We must, as parents, use discretion. But we certainly must beat the other voices to the punch.
A Proactive Effort
If we are proactive, if we homeschool this one class before advertisers target them with sensual imagery, before pornographers tempt them with wanton immorality, before even our schools can inform them of their biology-over-morality ideas, then we — as the primary godly influence in our kids’ lives — get to choose the battlefield. We get to set the stage.
Our teaching, based on God’s principles, provides an initial backdrop that frames all future input. Think of your God-oriented approach providing a filter through with all these other ideas pass: what potential!
What if your daughter saw a perfume ad and knew ahead of time not only that God doesn’t want her that close to a half-naked man until she’s married and that marketers have an ulterior motive for making her feel like she needs that guy (and therefore needs that perfume)?
What if your son’s friends invite him to check out some website and he leaves the room at first glance —”Oh, that. Yeah, I already know about porn, including how it can be addictive. Not my thing. Besides, they’re just naked people. Big deal.”
What if your kids are pressured into compromising situations and they are prepared for what exactly these situations represent and can produce?
They’re not going to gain these insights on their own. They’ll only get them from homeschool.
Originally posted 2016-02-01 08:00:43.