There’s more than one way to the rent, and that’s never more apparent than in this Monopoly sex game, our strip-heavy and favor-ridden take on the old classic real estate game.

Setup

Each player counts the number of approved articles of clothing they are wearing. Approved articles include shoes (left and right counted separately), socks or stockings (left and right counted separately), pants, tights, shorts, underwear, belts, shirts, tank tops, and bras. All other articles must be discarded.

The player with the largest number of articles begins the game with $500. If a player has less articles than the player with the highest number, they begin with $500 plus an additional $100 per article they lack.

Each player is also given a poker chip, to be called a Hoe Token, and spares are kept alongside the bank’s resources.

Optionally, include liquor and a shot glass for each player.

The game is set up according to traditional rules, with all properties controlled by the bank and awaiting purchase as players land on them.

Duration

The game is played until just one player is not bankrupt, per traditional rules.

Special Rules

The following special rules supplement traditional gameplay.

• Clothing Assets – Clothing is considered a special asset. At any time, a player may remove and “sell” an article of clothing to the bank (not to another player) for an amount predetermined by the type of clothing being sold (see chart below).
  Also, they may be bought back (and put back on) from the bank for twice the sell price but only during the player’s turn.
• Individual Shoes: $50
• Individual Socks or Stockings: $75
• Belts or Garter Belts: $150
• Pants, Tights, or Shorts: $300
• Shirts: $200
• Tank tops, camisoles, or undershirts: $250
• Bras or sports bras: $400
• Panties, boxers, or briefs: $500
• The Winner – The winning player may immediately put on all sold (but not forfeited) clothing. One hour after game completion, forfeited clothing may be put on as well.
• The Loser – The losing player may not put on any clothing until one hour after game completion.
• Passing Go – Passing “Go” does not give a player money directly. Instead, $50 is placed on Free Parking, and they may choose to either:
• Regain any single sold (not forfeited) clothing asset for free, chosen by the player passing Go; or
• Receive a Hoe Token.
• Free Parking – There’s no such thing as a free lunch. All taxes, fines, and “Passing Go” bonuses are added to a $500 pool, and that total is given to any player who lands on Free Parking only if they meet one of the following requirements:
• The player forfeits (permanently loses) all currently sold clothing (not an option if no clothing has been sold);
• The player expends (returns to the bank) three Hoe Tokens; or
• The player sits in another player’s lap, subjected to their whims (and hands) until the next time the player passes the Free Parking space (dignity is free, right?). If the player does collect the money, the bank places another $500 in the pool and the money begins adding up again.
• Diminished Utilities – If you’ve opted to include alcohol in your gameplay, then when a player pays after landing on a utility, they must also take one shot of liquor for each of the utilities owned by the property holder unless they rolled a double to get there. If they rolled a double, the owner of the property must take the appropriate number of shots. If the property is Water Works, the shots are taken as normal. If the property is the Electric Company, the shots are taken as body shots.
• The Price of Prison – In the absence of a rolled double or a “Get out of jail free” card (per normal rules), a player can only pay $50 to get out of jail under a specific circumstance.
• If the player is wearing any clothing, the player must forfeit (permanently lose) one article of worn clothing.
• If the player is not wearing any clothing, the player must forfeit (permanently lose) one article of unworn (sold) clothing.
• If the player has forfeited all clothing, the player may pay $50 to get out of jail.
• Hoe Tokens – If a player lands on an improved lot (a space with one or more houses or a hotel), in lieu of paying rent to the owner, the player may expend (return to the bank) a single Hoe Token to be permitted to perform a favor in payment. The favor required is determined by the property and its improvements.
• Activity: If the property has been improved with houses, the favor will be caressing with the hands. If the property has been improved with hotels, the favor will be kissing with the lips and tongue. In both cases, the activity will be performed in a sensual, stimulating manner.
• Duration: The amount of rent that would otherwise be owed determines the duration of the favor. Each second of activity contributes an amount toward the total based on which side of the game board the property is located (much like the price of improvements). A timer with an audible alarm should be used to ensure exact payment.
• First Side (Purple and Light Blue): $5 per second
• Second Side (Magenta and Orange): $10 per second
• Third Side (Red and Yellow): $15 per second
• Fourth Side (Green and Dark Blue): $20 per second
• Location: The color of the property determines the location on the body on which the favor is performed. If the specified location is covered by clothing, the favor cannot be performed and rent must be paid in the traditional manner. No Hoe Token is lost in this scenario.
• Purple: ears and face
• Light Blue: neck
• Magenta: shoulders
• Orange: back
• Red: stomach
• Yellow: chest
• Green: hips and thighs
• Dark Blue: genitals
• Riding the Hoe Train – If a player lands on a railroad, the owner must perform a favor in lieu of paying the amount owned but only if the target area (determined by which railroad is landed on) is not covered by clothing. If the player has a Hoe Token, it is expended (returned to the bank), but the favor must be performed even if the player does not possess a Hoe Token. The favor to be performed depends on the dice rolled to arrive at the railroad and the number of railroads owned by the property owner. Total the number of dots on the dice rolled, and add the number of railroads owned. Use that combined total and the chart below to determine the activity.
• Activity – The favor to be performed depends on the dice rolled to arrive at the railroad and the number of railroads owned by the property owner. Total the number of dots on the dice rolled, and add the number of railroads owned. Use that combined total and the chart below to determine the activity.
• Dice Total 3-8: Feather touch with fingertips for 2 minutes
• Dice Total 9-10: Caress with hands for 90 seconds
• Dice Total 11: Breathe on for 60 seconds
• Dice Total 12: Feather touch with tongue and lips for 45 seconds
• Dice Total 13: Kiss for 30 seconds
• Dice Total 14: Lick/eat whipped cream
• Dice Total 15: Lick/eat off whipped cream with chocolate syrup
• Dice Total 16: Lick/eat off chocolate syrup
• Location – The location of the activity depends on which railroad was landed on. If the required location is covered by clothing, the favor is not an option and traditional payment must be made instead.
• Reading Railroad: from the collarbone to the chin
• Pennsylvania Railroad: back
• B&O Railroad: stomach and chest
• Short Line: thighs, hips, and/or genitals