I’m annoyed.

When I told my wife I wanted a hot tub, she flinched a little. Hot tubs do, after all, hold a certain reputation.

I’m not annoyed my wife immediately thought of swingers. I’d likely have done the same. I’m annoyed that swingers have somehow monopolized hot water.

I mean, how ridiculous is that?! How presumptuous, judgmental, and ignorant would someone have to be to visit our home, see a hot tub in the back yard, and think we’re swingers? I mean, sure, it’s not hard to do the math for some presumptions: we like to relax, or maybe we’re even sexually active, or perhaps I have a think for wetlook. These are reasonable assumptions and don’t require a pronouncement on our character. But swingers? Really?

I recognize the prominence of this stereotype. But surely people are smarter than that when such a presumption would be totally out of character with all people know about us. It would be quite a leap.

If we invite a couple over, a couple we attend church with, spend extensive time with, share children with for days at a time, and we ask if they’d like to join us in the hot tub, I would hope they’d know it wasn’t some sort of sexual proposition.

It would be like if we have my best friend and his wife over, and I offer her a cup of coffee. Did I just suggest we engage in an adulterous romp? Of course not! An offer of coffee in specific situations or from certain people might be a sexual advance, but they know better. They know me better, surely.

Yet hot tubs are inherently swinger territory. How annoying.

Doesn’t change me wanting one, though. Maybe I’ll make a sign over it that says “Swinger Free Zone”. Does that help, or does it make it even more awkward than just wondering?

Originally posted 2016-05-27 08:00:42.