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They call it “doggystyle”.

It’s the sexual position where a woman bends over while on her knees, positioning herself on all fours, while a man penetrates her from behind. He may be kneeling or even standing if she’s at the edge of an elevated surface like a bed.

This position offers, as I understand it, a very different kind of stimulation for girls, targeting the ever-elusive g-spot pretty much automatically.

As for guys, the position gives you a clear view of the rump, convenient handholds in the form of her hips, and easy maneuverability to be as slow and sensual or as wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am as you want. I know the perks of doggystyle, and I happily leverage them.

What I don’t know is why dogs get the credit. I mean, they’re hardly the only species to do it.

In actuality, the position is just about all you’ll ever encounter from the animal kingdom. The face-to-face missionary position that’s so common among humanity is almost impossible to find (though it does happen) elsewhere in nature. Nearly every lovemaker in the world does the deed doggystyle.

So why not call it horseystyle? Or pandastyle? Or turtlestyle? Tigerstyle?

I’ve got it: elephantstyle! No?

What about gorillas? Can we do it like gorillas? Oh, that’s already spoken for? Well, dangit!

Rabbitstyle has its own connotations already, too, so that candidate’s no good.

Fine, we’ll go with doggystyle. It’s all doggystyle. Even for mongooses. Mongeese. Mongoosen. Mongi. However you say it.

Originally posted 2015-06-29 08:00:42.