I swim about as well as an exhausted, overweight, two-legged basset hound with a pulled hammy. Yet I love going to the pool with my wife. Why is that?

The obvious answer is that swimwear is wonderful. It’s basically just like underwear in all the important ways, but it remains kosher in public. Hard to beat that. But believe it or not, that’s just half the perk to guys like me. The other half is that I simply have a wetlook fetish.

Wetlook is a term used to describe the body, hair, and/or clothing in a visually sodden state. The “look” may not be achieved by actual water. A sheen of sweat, a glow of massage oil, or even for some, the liquidity of some foods can do it for them.

Seeing beads of moisture on my wife as she climbs out of the pool, her hair in a soggy clump, and yes, that thin swimsuit clinging wetly to every bump and curve of her skin… it just does it for me. I’m not always going to want to jump her bones at that very moment; it’s not like that. But I can always enjoy that view.

The pool isn’t the only option, of course. I always enjoy walking in on my wife while she’s bathing or showering (for that matter, showering _with_ her is a favorite pastime). Suds are a nice touch. Of course, there’s the deservedly cliché aspect of wet, clingy clothing at a car wash, and there’s obviously bonus points for white t-shirts.

Really, wetlook can be even more appealing outside of swimwear, and not solely because of the chance for transparency. There’s something about normal clothes (or pajamas or workout gear or whatever) being wet that makes it all the more exceptional, and therefore elevated in its fun factor. Imagine a nice evening gown complete with makeup and done-up hair… and then dive into the pool. It’s just remarkable.

I suppose the same “exceptional” effect could be accomplished even with a skimpy swimsuit: wearing it instead of normal clothes while eating at the dinner table or cleaning the house or working in the garden. Or maybe hanging out at a backyard barbecue in a swimsuit, maybe with some cutoff shorts. Totally hot, in part, because if its exceptional nature.

But it still doesn’t beat wetlook. So, honey, maybe some messy dishwashing is in order. Or maybe we just skip the “legitimate” excuses. Where are the water guns?

Originally posted 2015-07-20 08:00:12.