Unless you happen to own a laser tag arena, you might not think you could pull off pulling off your clothes to an invigorating game of laser tag. Well, thanks to modern-day mass-produced toy technology, you too can have fun shooting your nearly-naked spouse in the comfort of your own home. Or a back yard if you’ve got enough privacy. We did it in an Airbnb one time, which made for unfamiliar terrain for both of us.

One of the great thing about this game is that your sex game can be stored in plain sight when not in use. We let our kids play with ours. They don’t know what mommy and daddy do with them.

Setup

Each player will need at least one toy laser gun. This game is designed based on the Dynasty Toys blasters (which can also be bought as a 4-pack if you want to dual wield your guns, but you could adapt the gameplay rules below to better fit your toys. If you’re buying a new toy for this and the Dynasty Toys version isn’t available, try to find guns that:

• act as targets (you shoot your enemy’s gun rather than something your enemy is wearing, and
• have a health meter.

I haven’t tested them, but it appears that the Nerf Lazer Tag Phoenix Tagger and the Kidzlane Infrared Laser Tag sets meet these requirements.

Additionally, only approved clothing listed in the per-person supplies. Note that pairs shoes, socks, and stockings count as collective articles (2 shoes = one article) in this game so you’re never in uneven footing.

Each player will set their gun(s) to separate teams (if appropriate), and assume an agreed-upon starting position.

Duration

Game matches repeat until one player has lost after being completely naked. Winners are determined by the guns’ systems/rules.

Special Rules

The following special rules supplement normal gameplay.

• Loser – If you lose a match, remove an article of clothing (your choice). Remove footwear (including shoes, socks, stockings, and the like) as pairs to reduce the risk of injury.
• Winner – If you win a match, additional special rules may apply (see below).
• Domination – If you win a match with full health, you can decommission any one item of your spouse’s already-removed clothing (your choice). They will be unable to put this one back on.
• Recovery – If you win a match with over half your health remaining, put a piece of clothing back on. Decommissioned clothing is out of play and cannot be put back on.

• On Your Last Leg – If you win a match with only one health counter left, begin the following match with your next article partly removed. For example, fully unbutton a shirt, remove an arm from a t-shirt, untie shoes, wear bottoms at your ankles (be careful).

• Overall Loser – You’re at the cold mercy of the victor. The winner will ensure you get your clothes back, but at a timing and order of their choosing. Additionally, for as long as you’re exposed, the winner may choose to stimulate you at any time and to any degree short of orgasm. If you feel an orgasm coming, you must tell the winner so they can stop.

• Overall Winner – It’s hard work being such a winner. The loser must give you a thirty (30) minute massage. Then, using his/her hands (or something controlled by his/her hands), the loser must bring you to orgasm.