“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22 NASB). Wise words from the very book of wisdom. I’ve gotta say, there’s nothing I’ve yet seen that compares to the beauty, wonder, and blessing I’ve found in my wife. I count myself as highly favored by the Lord to have a woman who so suitably fits me and whom I so suitably (I hope) fit in return.
But for all that, there is something even more amazing, at least in this stage of my life. I came into my marriage with a substantial sexual appetite, and I assumed it was returned in much-diminished proportions. After all, guys always want more sex than girls, right? This, I thought, is a fact of life.
But over time, something prodigious occurred. My wife embraced her own sexual desires, opening herself to them with ever-diminishing reservation.
“Your sex life is a great indicator of the health of your Christian marriage.”
I know of some men who consider sex once a quarter to be a luxury, and others whose wives are willing, if not excited, to do the deed twice weekly to keep their husbands’ biological pressure valve relieved.
My wife? If schedule and biology (tissue wear and tear, not to mention stamina) allowed, I could give up my exercise regimen; I’d be burning calories multiple times a day, every day.
I believe this is the result of a healthy marriage built on commitment, transparency, integrity, and love. She feels safe to explore her sexuality because of the context of our clearly life-long commitment. She feels she can trust me with knowledge of her secret desires and trusts me to express my own. She knows nothing can compromise our marriage because it’s built upon the Rock and He’s been faithful even when we haven’t. And she knows that at the end of the day, it’s all based on God’s love for us, shared with and through each other, and expressed — in part — in an undefiled marriage bed.
So, she likes to express herself. A lot. And I’ve got no complaints.
Of course, there’s more to a healthy marriage than sex, but I believe my pastor said it best: “Your sex life is a great indicator of the health of your Christian marriage.”